I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
