I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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