When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
