Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
