I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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