seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize