Where is the hickey?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize