I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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