I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
