her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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