12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
