too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
