Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
