Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
