Pregnant stripper...not hot.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Boobs speak an international language.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
