You work out of a Hotel?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
