does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
These tits shall not be calmed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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