So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Operation Purity has been aborted
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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