I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The uberlube is also flammable
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
