Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
