Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
