People in love make me want to vomit
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
