dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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