Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
