apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
