And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
