Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
