Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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