Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
