he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
