"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
