I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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