Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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