I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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