okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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