used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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