if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
of course. lets lasso hookers.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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