I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
