I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
