Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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