I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
