I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
