I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
