what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
