god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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