He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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