Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
