If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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