Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
