I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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