I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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