I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
