Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
