I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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