You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize