I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
