i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Randomize
