We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
