that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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