Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
