its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize