i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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