I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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