Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
