all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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