Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
