I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
